Meet cute: How over 50s are finding romance offline
Written by Cameron Bayley for Australian Seniors
Sorry dating apps, it’s not us, it’s you. The time has come when many Australians are breaking up with the idea of finding a match on their phone – and this includes those aged 50 and above.
“Half of my clients in this age group are really uncomfortable with dating apps,” says Robyn Nind, director of the Blue Label Life dating agency. “They much prefer the old-fashioned way of meeting people.”
This is partly due to safety concerns, but also because of the more transactional nature of digital interactions, where the focus is often on casual hook-ups. And when it comes to apps, the flirtatious back-and-forth messaging has little appeal, Robyn says. The older generation don’t have time for that.
“They don’t want to play games, they don’t want drama. They don’t sweat the small stuff, they’re much more relaxed and open. And direct, straightforward. They’ve been there, done that!”
The approach to dating also differs from the younger crowd because there’s none of that pressure to find ‘the one’ to begin life’s adult journey with. “They’ve been through a divorce or lost a partner, so now they want peace, and someone that they can just be themselves with and accept each other, and just enjoy spending time together.”
These singles are also much more interested in focusing on their own interests and perhaps meeting a like-minded soul on the way. “People are looking for growth, continual learning,” Robyn explains.
It also means their scope for meeting others is quite wide. “They don’t really have a single network, so it’s social groups like art or music, or volunteering and mentoring, doing something in the community.”
Related: What it’s like to get married over 50
Quality time together
You only have to look at the success of Stitch, a community of member-driven meet-ups for people aged 50 and over, both here and overseas, to see that this cohort loves to hang out.
“People’s experiences of the dating sites have been that it’s quite a soul-crushing experience to be constantly rejected when people are dismissing your profile, or you’re sending messages and people don’t respond,” says Andrew Dowling, Stitch’s Sydney-based founder. “Whereas, if they get out there in the real world and meet people, it can be a bit socially anxiety-inducing initially, but it’s a much more fulfilling experience.”
How Stitch works is that members will post an idea for an activity they’d like to do – a coffee catch-up, going surfing, seeing a play, anything at all – and interested parties can join. “The premise is that we’ve all got things we’d like to do that would be more fun if we had a buddy or a friend or someone doing them with us,” Andrew explains.
And, yes, love has sprung from such events. “Thousands of people find romance through Stitch. But the way they’ve done it is in a very authentic way, where they’ve become part of the community. They go out together. They might go dancing, they might go on walks, they might have interesting conversations, and over time realise that they’re a great connection.”
Andrew and Robyn agree that the easiest way to gauge if someone’s on the same wavelength comes from seeing them out in the wild, where love can generate a spark rather than a ping on their phone.
Related: A guide to maintaining your personal community
How to date successfully online
If you are a fan of online dating services, romance guru Robyn Nind also has a few tips.
- Strike a pose
It may seem like a no-brainer, but plenty of app users will upload a pic that doesn’t show them at their best. “Having a good photo is really important.”
- Don’t message endlessly
“Just go and meet. Everything gets misunderstood with texting, it’s better to just go and be in front of people, because that way you know if you connect with them.”
- Be specific in your profile
Shared values are so important for this age group, so Robyn encourages being open about what’s important to you. “Really honing in on your really deep values, that’s going to attract someone similar.”
- Make ’em laugh!
“Nearly everyone in this age group says a partner has got to have a sense of humour! Laugh at yourself in your profile. People are attracted to that.”
11 Sept 2026